I had an interesting experience today. Someone I knew as an acquaintance became my friend. It is very interesting how one genuine experience can raise the bar of a relationship. Dr. Phil always says, " When someone shows themselves to you believe them." My Great Aunt used to says, if someone shows you their heart, show them yours and you will have a friend for life. I have had this happen many times before, as I have many people for whom I deeply care about in my life. But not until today was I consciously aware of the events that were occurring in real time. So it was interesting and refreshing at the same time.
It has been a long time since I have been in a place where I could open my heart and not have it pour out pain and anguish. So is this a sign I am moving past my pain, or it is just not throbbing anymore, I don 't know. I sort of think it's like filing, for so long all my emotions were just laying around on my desk, in the floor, stuck to ceiling, and over whelming. Then they were just in piles in front of me. Now they are behind me in a filing cabinet. I hope someday to move them to the back room, but for know the filing cabinet is OK, because i can easily open and shut the drawers when needed.
This next week will probably be a difficult one, but i hope it will not be too bad. June 29th would have been my 9th anniversary, but it won't be, it will just be another day. This is what breaks my heart these days. The good days we no longer get to celebrate, the dreams we will never accomplish, and the path that just stopped. God is good, he will supply the peace, as I supply the faith.
Have a good night
Tabby
Friday, June 17, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
My 30th Birthday
Hello,
So my twenties are gone, I have now been 30 for 10 complete days. I feel rather similar, as I assumed I would. It is funny though, to think of yourself as 30. I don't know when, but at somepoint I quit feeling older on my birthday. I suppose because each year through 25 something momentus happens. After that there is no benefit to getting older until you reach retirement.
I think we should start this journey with some reflection. My twenties were like a spinning roller coaster, fun, scary, exciting, fast and at the same time too long, made me sick a few times, and have left me a little dazed, dizzy, and with wobbly legs. I entered my 20's with a vision, a plan, a prayer. I leave with broken expectations, an altered plan, and a whole basket of prayers. Oprah says that your thirties are when you find yourself and step into who you were meant to be, that is good because I feel as I have spent 10 years walking in the forest.
If you are reading this and don't already know me. I had a plan to go to college, get married, and have a bundle of babies. Well I went to college, nearly finished. I got married and divorced, bought a house and sold it for less than we paid, and babies will be a true miracle if they ever happen in my life.
I currently have a good job, not great fulfill your life job, but it pays my bills well, and I can really impact peoples lives. I live in the upstairs of my parents house and I have a cat Milo. I love to cook, read, watch crime shows and movies. I love music of all genres. I am still a nerd at heart I suppose I always will be.
So what to I hope for my thirtes, I hope to find myself. I need to find what bring joy and peace to my soul. I want to make postivie changes in my life to make it more healthy, physically and mentally. I hope to take you on this journey, maybe we can learn and find ourselves together.
You will find me here, my stuggles, my favorites, my pictures, and maybe a little hope. I named this blog the ugly duckling because of the geese here in WI. I saw a few the other day, they are getting big but they are not cute right now. A few weeks ago they were sweet little yellow babies following their moms around, now they are bigger brown but still fuzzy usually hanging out together or by themselves, but in a few weeks they will transform into beautiful geese. I feel like an ugly duckling, I still have soft feathers that don't fly, but I am not cute baby anymore, come with me as I shed there fluffy feathers and find sleek feathers for my wings.
So my twenties are gone, I have now been 30 for 10 complete days. I feel rather similar, as I assumed I would. It is funny though, to think of yourself as 30. I don't know when, but at somepoint I quit feeling older on my birthday. I suppose because each year through 25 something momentus happens. After that there is no benefit to getting older until you reach retirement.
I think we should start this journey with some reflection. My twenties were like a spinning roller coaster, fun, scary, exciting, fast and at the same time too long, made me sick a few times, and have left me a little dazed, dizzy, and with wobbly legs. I entered my 20's with a vision, a plan, a prayer. I leave with broken expectations, an altered plan, and a whole basket of prayers. Oprah says that your thirties are when you find yourself and step into who you were meant to be, that is good because I feel as I have spent 10 years walking in the forest.
If you are reading this and don't already know me. I had a plan to go to college, get married, and have a bundle of babies. Well I went to college, nearly finished. I got married and divorced, bought a house and sold it for less than we paid, and babies will be a true miracle if they ever happen in my life.
I currently have a good job, not great fulfill your life job, but it pays my bills well, and I can really impact peoples lives. I live in the upstairs of my parents house and I have a cat Milo. I love to cook, read, watch crime shows and movies. I love music of all genres. I am still a nerd at heart I suppose I always will be.
So what to I hope for my thirtes, I hope to find myself. I need to find what bring joy and peace to my soul. I want to make postivie changes in my life to make it more healthy, physically and mentally. I hope to take you on this journey, maybe we can learn and find ourselves together.
You will find me here, my stuggles, my favorites, my pictures, and maybe a little hope. I named this blog the ugly duckling because of the geese here in WI. I saw a few the other day, they are getting big but they are not cute right now. A few weeks ago they were sweet little yellow babies following their moms around, now they are bigger brown but still fuzzy usually hanging out together or by themselves, but in a few weeks they will transform into beautiful geese. I feel like an ugly duckling, I still have soft feathers that don't fly, but I am not cute baby anymore, come with me as I shed there fluffy feathers and find sleek feathers for my wings.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)